Remember Boo Radely, in To Kill a Mockingbird? That house he lived in, on the corner - the one they stayed away from because crazy people lived there - - Every neighborhood has one. They're typically on the corner, sometimes a woman lives there with several cats. You know the ones.
I've just discovered how those places come to be.
See, my house is on a corner lot. It's a cute little house, with an old, decorative metal fence all around. On the left, along the road, there's a tall, thick hedge running the entire length of the property, giving me privacy on that side. In the back, an alley runs down linking that side road to another side road at the end of the block. That's how I get to my garage, which isn't attached to the house. On my right are two houses, they're rentals that butt-up against each other, so that one house has it's front on our front, and the other house's front is at our rear. I have a really nice, tall wood fence between me and them.
Out front, my house sits back from the road, so there's a nice paved walkway from the front porch out to the street. There you exit through an old metal gate and you're standing on what is considered my driveway. This gravel strip runs the length of the street, and it's where residents park their cars if they don't have a driveway or garage out front.
My mailbox is there.
I have the coolest system ! When I get off work, I drive home, arriving there just after 4pm. If I take this one route it brings me to the front of the house, where I can drive up to my mailbox, open my window, get the key, and get my mail without even turning off the car. Then I drive around on the other road, enter the alley and drive into my garage. That way I get the mail every day, no muss, no fuss, park in the garage and walk to the house using the back door to the mud room.
School's in.
Cue ominous music.
That would mean nothing to me, being without children, if it weren't for Polly Purewater and her Gaggle of Mom's who PARK RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE to pick up little Johnny No-Good and Pollyanna-Sue as the school bus disgorges them.
Yeah, that's right. This school bus, the one that stops on EVERY BLOCK to dump kids out so the brats have no more than a 30-foot walk from drop-off to front-door, stops directly in front of my house.
Okay, I can deal with that. Once a day, during the school year, this behemoth of smoke and noise stops in front of my house, blocking out the sun and the mailman, sits there for a few minutes, then trudges down the road. Once or twice it has arrived as I'm sitting there in my car pulling the mail out of the box, blocking me, the daylight and most of the oxygen in the County, forcing me to wait until it pulls away.
What I can't deal with are Polly Purewater and her Gaggle of Mom's ! They sit there, usually for a good 15 minutes in their butt-ugly sedans, blocking my front walkway, blocking my mailbox, blocking my gate - making it IMPOSSIBLE for me to pull up and get the mail - let alone park in what is technically my driveway, or enter my property via the gate!
And you know what's worse? They litter.
It's not bad enough that when I'm weed-wacking the outside of the hedge so my neighbors don't have to stare at lawn flowers growing in a swatch of lawn I can't see - I'm also picking up beer cans and empty cigarette packages. NOW I get the added bonus of picking up after Polly Purewater and her Gaggle of Mom's as they toss their water bottles, granola bar wrappers and 100-calorie packages all over the front of my property !
I've asked them to stop. (i've considered all manner of other methods - including but not limited to: spike strips, broken glass and a pit-bull)
I've asked them to please park and wait for the little shits on the other road, a mere 10 feet away, so they'd be on the other side of the hedge and at least not blocking my house.
I've asked them to please, for the love of Nature itself, take their trash with them when Johnny Jr. and Pollyanna-Sue get off the bus. My garbage can gets set out in the alley, so it's not up front for them to even take advantage of.
Do they?
Nope.
And you know what really kills me? The part that's gonna be the straw required to break this camel's back?
You know the part that will be written out in black ink and bad physician handwriting on that form they show the judge when they're locking me away?
You wanna know what it is?
Mommy-dearest drives her little shitzus one block.
Only one block.
Yeah, you heard me right.
One.
Block.
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7 comments:
My husband and I used to live a block from a high school and parents were always parkign on our street, blocking our driveway so we couldn't go in or out. And if we asked them not to park there, they got mad!
I tell you what, if it had been one of us blocking their driveway they would've been jumping up and down about "What if there was an EMERGENCY???"
But of course, only they can have needs, rights or emergencies. The rest of us exist only to serve or annoy. Sadly, their children are likely learning this lesson, too.
You have my sympathy, and I wish I had wise words of advice for you, other than to maybe call the cops, if they can get out there quick enough to catch them in the act.
So, they're not big on exercise, huh?
I know exactly how you feel.
Some kids about my age live across the street and they love throwing huge parties...every. single. night. And of course they all have huge trucks and insist on parking them all along the road across from our driveway.
Now, this road was once a one lane dead end street, and even after widening it's barely big enough for two cars to pass. So all these huge vehicles parked on the side take up over half of the available road.
Many nights when I come home from work I find it nearly impossible to get into my own driveway because these punks are all parked in my way. They even had the nerve to park in the driveway once and got angry when my mom made them move so she could go to the store. Ugh.
I'd go with what bunnygirl suggested and just call the cops every time they're in your way. If that doesn't work, bring out the spike strips. :D
Put a chalk outline on your driveway and string some yellow tape around it. They'll go find another driveway. Gaggles don't like confusion.
Or, if cleaning up the chalk is more than you're looking for, you could just stand on your lawn and watch the mommas. Watch them very, very hard. Scratch yourself on occasion if you're inspired.
Ooh, Mags, I like that :D
I do a mean Crazy-Woman stare! I could occasionally laugh and answer a question no one asked, too.
That's the spirit!
Two options:
1) Dress like a bag lady, black out a couple teeth for good effect, where those fingerless knit gloves, and got up to them and say something like, "Could ya spare a farthing, guvna?"
2) Throw tacks along the curb. Just remember they are there so you don't run over them.
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