Number 54

I love my car.

I drive a 2002 Volkswagen New Beetle, TDI. Fire-engine red, black interior. Bought it new back in November of '02. TDI stands for Turbo Diesel Injection.

Yep, it's a Diesel. 50 miles to the gallon - I kid you not! That's what really sold me on the diesel vs gas. Well that, and the maintenance. Did you know that diesel engines have fewer moving parts, and that leads to easier, less expensive tune-ups? I didn't. But that means every time one of my co workers takes his car in for a tune up, he's paying $300.00 to my $124.00.

Anyway . . . There I am, happily owning my little diesel beetle, smiling all the way to the gas station and mechanic shop, when along comes my 75k oil change. After paying my $54.00 bill for the oil change and looksee, the nice man behind the counter says: Okay, your next visit should be at 80,000 miles, and that's the Big Tune Up, usually comes to around $981.00.

WTF?!

$981.00 ?

Yeppers. They replace the timing belts. Seems that requires practically lifting the engine out of the car (or so the man said to the blonde woman)

981.00 Goram dollars for a tune up!

So I smiled, said "Thanks." Took my receipt and the little "reminder" estimate, and drove home in a dazed fog. With my commute, it'll take me a mere 3 months to go from 75k to 80. Then my little brain starts turning, thinking "maybe it's time for a trade-in?" I'd already decided next summer I was going to trade this baby in for a brand-spanking new one. I want leather seats, like my sister's beetle, and a sunroof (like hers) and the new red color is really something.

Salsa Red, they call it.

Ignoring the difference between a $981.00 tune up and a $23,750 new car, I happily drive home and look up my favorite VW dealership to see what they have on the lot. Well, no red, and no diesel. So I send in an email, listing exactly what I want, and a little while later I get this phone call.

"Would you be interested in a Jetta?"

"No, I want a Beetle. And it has to be diesel."

"How about a Passat? I have three on the lot right now with black leather."

"Thanks, but I want a Beetle. New, salsa red, black leather, and diesel."

"Okay. I have three red Jettas, one of them is diesel."

One of us isn't listening.

"Beetle," I repeated slowly. "New. Red. Diesel."

"Okay, we have no diesels in the '07 anymore. No one in the state does. But I can put you down for an '08. They're coming out with more horsepower than the '07, certified 55 mpg and cleared for use in all 50 states."

"Sounds perfect, put me down."

"Okay, we're expecting them in April."

"April?"

"Yep, that's the earliest."

Friggin APRIL ! Which means I'll have to pay that $981.00 tune up anyway. Which means, sure, I'll probably get that back in the trade in value. And yes, it does sound stupid to avoid a tune up cost by buying a new car . . . but sheesh. I'd talked myself in to this brand spanking new-car smell idea, and now I have to WAIT.

I hate waiting.

I'm not a patient person.

The publishing world is all about waiting. My rock-tumbling hobby is all about waiting. Sometimes it seems my entire LIFE is all about waiting ! I spent 30 minutes last night at Group Health in the pharmacy waiting, holding that little number in my hand, watching all the windows, waiting for my number to finally light up above one of them.

I couldn't help thinking this is what Life is. You sit here, holding your number, and the instant that little red light flashes from the number before you, to yours, one of those giant ACME anvils will drop from the sky and squish you before you can get out of your seat.

Number 53. Is there a Number 53?



Number 54.

The Truth about Fiction *

I'm too old to apologize, so I'm just going to say it: I watch NCIS.

Okay, so there's this story line they have that really REALLY makes me crazy. They have a character become a published author. Which, on the surface, is fine. Most of us - I'd go so far as to say a good 60% of us - write as a second job. Or at least do not count on writing as our sole source of income.

And I'm talking about fiction. Non-fiction writers are a whole different breed, and many - if not most - of them can and do make a living at this.

But this guy . . . this fictional character . . . is being done so over the top it's maddening.

They show him as having written what can only be classified as a dime detective novel - excerpts of which are so badly done, it's laughable - and he wrote it in secret. Okay so far. But what really pushes me over the edge is the fact that they've written him as having been paid a HUGE advance, then becoming so famous, he's recognized by people on the street.

That's what has my head spinning.

Yes, it's a TV show. Yes, he's a fictional character, this isn't real, yada yada yada. But I'm willing to bet there are police officers out there who go nuts watching television get it wrong. I know there are doctors, nurses, and general medical professionals who shake their heads every time someone is shown flat lining and being resuscitated. I know for a fact there are real CSI's out there who can't even stand to watch CSI.

So give me this one frustration.

The truth about writing fiction, especially if you're a first timer, is so far removed from that. In reality, if you've just penned your very first fantabulastic novel, managed to rise above the millions to be that top 3 percent who land an agent, then climbed your way to the top 1 percent of those and net a publisher, then got offered a glorious contract for your precious little darling . . . Nine times out of ten, you'll get an advance anywhere from $0.00 to $5,000 on average.

Yes, there are exceptions. Some get more than that 5 thousand. A very RARE and special few will net a six-figure advance. I know a few who did.

I know more who didn't.

Truth is, even if you net an agent, and a publishing contract, you're gonna want to keep that day job. If you're extremely lucky, you'll get some sort of advance, but don't plan on ordering that Ferarri or trying on those custom made Italian leather jackets.

What bugs me about that character on NCIS is the fact that they're perpetuating a myth that so many of us are struggling against. Like swimming upstream, I had yet another long explanation session with my mother - who, along with my stepfather, are under the impression that if you publish something, you're an automatic millionaire.

Of course, they also want to know how much it "costs" you to get a book published, why you can't just "get published" if you wrote something, and they also think if you "sign a contract" you've just signed your life, soul, and hard earned money away.

So, they don't quite understand much of it. But I think a lot of people are just like that. And this stupid character is adding fuel to a fire I've been trying to put out for so long. Writers are not filthy rich (unless you're the top .5 percent and your name is Grisham or Patterson).

There are exceptions, of course. But I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the majority.

A majority who are gonna earn a few thousand advance, then spend sleepless nights worried that they'll never earn out that advance and start making royalty money - which would mean the chances of them having a second novel published are shaky, at best.

I think this is why so many writers don't talk about writing, except with other writers.

And oddly enough, if given the choice between having ONE novel published and making a small fortune vs having one or two SERIES published and earning only modest royalties - I'd pick the second option.

Seriously.

But feel free to throw money at me, I mean really, I'm not that stupid :D



*the following has been a Vicoden-induced post. Though I still have very little feeling in my right hand, it is on the mend. If I've made no sense, at least I was smiling when I wrote this*

Patience, grasshopper.

I'm still trying to get back into this blogging mode again. I was never as good at it as I wanted to be, but I never really took the time to figure this thing out. Then they went and changed it on me !

That's okay, I got a new blog title out of the deal, and it makes more sense now that it's the same as my domain name. But these template thingies are driving me between.

I've tried on - - what - - five so far? This one stuck all weekend because I wasn't on the computer this weekend. And it's not bad, as far as they go. But it could be so much better. I've seen some custom-made templates out there that really take the cake - but so far nothing that's "perfect" for me, so I still have this one. (let's face it, no one wants to look at light grey writing on a black background!)

Sure, I could learn how to customize it myself - but that's time better spent writing. And I find it funny that a writer should be so concerned with something visual. And yet, I am.

I love my red-eyed black cat, don't get me wrong. But I've always tried to envision what the cover art for my first published novel would look like, and figured I'd some day use that as the logo of my web page and blog.

Only - that ain't happened yet. So, here I sit, occasionally thinking I can create something just as cool, then realizing I'm not talented in that way. Which is just as well, I suppose. If I could draw/paint/create visual images, I wouldn't get anything done.

I'd sit here, drawing my characters, their ships, planets and settings, and get NO writing down. The last thing a writer needs is one more excuse not to be writing.

We're pathetic sometimes.

But in a week or two -- depending on when this pinched nerve thingie decides to completely unpinch, so I can have the feeling in my fingers back -- I plan to put samples of writing back up on the web page, the stuff that will never see the light of publishing, and start to blog about the Keeper series and the new, as-yet-unnamed spin-off.

I just need to try on a few more templates . . .

She's baaaaack.

Wow, did I pick the wrong week to quit cocaine.

I mean, start blogging again! I've had a pinched nerve in my shoulder for 7 days now, when I'm not sweating hot from the heating pad or completely numb with ice, I'm in screaming agony. So I figured, what the heck - start a new blog!

For the record, I never claimed to have perfect timing.

But this is something I've been meaning to do for a while now, and I guess other things conspired to make me finally go ahead and do it. Most of you know me, know my writing and my occasional fits of existential meltdown. I think writers are prone to being just a bit outside. At least, all the one's I know are.

Okay, maybe it's just me. Learn to adjust !

Ahem

Now, as for topics, reasons, paranoid expressions and other sources of inspiration for this new blog, I'll I can say is . . . They are many. First and foremost, I suppose, is the recommendation that all writers have a web presence. Typically that means either a really spiffy web page they can use to promote and sell their newest, latest and greatest published work, or a blog where they can entertain and inform readers who already bought their newest, latest and greatest published work. Or a combination of the two, so long as they're kept up to date and informative.

Sure, no one can ever accuse ME of remaining up to date and informative - but that's what I'm here to change. In fact, in these last few months a lot of things have changed. My views, my stories, even my attention span. This could be a rather long post, I hope you brought snacks.

Back in March of '06, I joined an online community of writers at Absolute Write in the hopes of learning the ins, outs, ups, downs and important things about writing and getting published. My goal was to take this (insert descriptive phrase here) writing talent of mine and see if I couldn't get published in the traditional sense. I always thought being found on the shelves of Barnes & Noble would be the cat's meow. It's a great place to go and learn, especially if you have no clue how the "real world" works, or you need some help with the technical aspects of writing.

I recommend Absolute Write to anyone, even the hobby-writer.

But I offer up a caution, as well. If you're not careful, you might find yourself spending so much time there, you have no desire or need to express yourself creatively elsewhere. You'll stop writing, you'll stop blogging, and you'll begin to feel the zest being sucked out of your marrow. Then, when you start to realize that, you'll also take a look around you and realize you've just answered the same silly question for the hundredth time. Or you'll swear if you see one more person ask for help in naming a character, or picking a hair color for their antagonist, you're gonna scream.

Then there's the typical bilge that builds up whenever hundreds of humans get together. Things get silly, then turn stupid. It's normal, but I'm getting too old for that sorta thing.

So I realized it was time for me to get back to what was important. My own writing, my own blog, my own creativity. Those of you who do know me, know my work. But what you don't know is how much it's been changed. I did some long, hard thinking about Keeper and the sequels, in between some other novels I'd completed, and realized just how special the Keeper series is, but also how it had taken a few left turns when I should have been driving straight. Add to this the epiphany of a completely new, completely separate series that has popped into my furtive brain. One that - while standing independent of the Keeper series - actually will benefit from a lead-in, and occasional cross-existence.

That all just sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Trust me, it'll make sense when you read it. Seriously.

But in order to accomplish that, and in order to bring the whole Keeper series up to the level I had originally intended, required much editing, rewriting, retooling and rethinking. And I would dearly love to jump the gun here and say that a publisher is interested in the series, but truth be told, that gun-jumping is in such an embryonic stage at this point, it won't help any to elaborate. I'd hate to have to come back and eat all that humble pie.

It's fattening.

I suddenly find I have a lot to say, a lot to talk about, a lot to discuss with my 'peeps' here in the blog. I'll make a list, so the well doesn't jam up or go dry in the summer heat. Lots to go on about writing, the publishing world (as strange an animal as that is) what means to write and be read, with occasional side-trips to talk about lapidary arts, pets, stupid things people do, etc.

As for the web page, I'll be putting up some samples of work, snippets of stuff, stories that will never see the light of publishing, things to check out. I've been reading on many different agent blogs how fans "love to read cut scenes, or interviews with characters, or back story for your work". I'm not sure how true that is, but if there's interest, I might think about that. It could be fun, maybe. That might be an interesting way to introduce the new characters that will make their debut in one of the later Keeper sequels.

So to my fans - feel free to leave comments and we can chat about stuff. To my new visitors, feel free to say whatever you like (within reason, okay? Let's try and be civil, or someday I'll figure out I can delete you).


To the rest of you - well, you're not here then, are you? So I can talk about YOU all I want. HA!

Back in Black

This is just a test.

Had this been a real thought, more words would have followed these.

This was only a test.